|Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
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