How To Answer The Usual Questions Asked To Indians

How to answer the usual questions asked to Indians :)

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery
skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot.
In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives.
You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the

Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All
the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the
elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our
house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride
sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see
elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to
encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians
as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English.
So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused
their servants' babies with it and since then
all babies born are born speaking English.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously.
That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of
self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food.
That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians
-- it is is a lot of hard work.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But
it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work
when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same
thing.That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the botton of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.

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