|In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or deformed
to the point of being ``an unsightly or disgusting object'' are
banned from going out in public.
In Chicago, it is illegal to fish in one's pajamas.
In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The
officially recognized language is ``American.''
In Guernee, it is illegal for women weighing more than 200 pounds to
ride horses in shorts.
In Joliet, it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet.
In Normal it is illegal to make faces at dogs.
In Chicago it is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.
You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one
dollar bill on your person.
You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up
to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on
your own conversation.
You must contact the police before entering the city in an
*A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be
called master, not mister, when addressed by their female
*In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
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